I'm so sorry. NFF

I've noticed that for the last 4 years or so I've been way more negative than positive. I hadn't really thought about what I was posting on an ongoing basis until now.
I think I should come clean.

My wife came down with severe C.O.P.D. a few years ago. That's a heinous lung disease. Bed bound and on O2 ever since. She has seen more of the Sierras than most of you have but that all came to an end.

Week before last she took a fall and broke a leg.

That changed everything. It also gave me a bit of clarity. I've been taking my mourning and depression out on people that I hold near and dear for years.

And some not so dear but undeserving of the scorn that I dished out.

I've pushed away friends and alienated people who've been nothing but good to me. DL you just happened to be there when my world collapsed. That was shitty of me.

My sincerest apologies to all. I am now living vicariously through you guys.

If you have a particular beef with me I'll be at the Expo and we can talk.

Ed Wahl

Classy post Ed! I don't know you but you've always got some kernel of knowledge I take with me on your posts. Best of luck with everything going on. Rye

COPD is a very tough thing to deal with, especially for one who has a love of the sierras. ANY time you need someone to go on a walk in the mountains with, shoot me a message.

Ed,

I have never had the pleasure to talk with you on any subject but I have to say your post was honest, sincere, "man up" posts I have ever read on any board. You truly are a gentleman and someone I would want to know. I sincerely hope your wife gets better, I am not very familiar with the disease other than having heard of it. I am glad you found some peace in dealing with your tragic circumstance.

No apology needed. Its OK to blow off some steam, Thats why we are all here. Your welcome at my campfire anytime.
Once again I would like to thank all who post , sharing stories and pictures. Your keeping me and many others in touch with the fly fishing world. It can be an amazing break in our day to day rigors.
Thanks, Randy

Ed
Sorry to hear about your wifes' ailments. My mom was diagnosed with COPD last May, along with some other stuff, so I know first hand how devastating it can be. I'll have a booth at the expo so feel free to stop by and chat.

Best wishes to you and your wife.

Jay

See you at the expo buddy. I know how things get.

You're a good man Ed. I always like your posts. Looking forward to seeing you at the expo.
Bob

Sorry to here of your sad situation Ed.

Those who know you well for a long time understand your situation.

We should all say a little prayer for you two, even if we are not real religious.

Hope all the best for you old friend.

.

I cannot even begin to imagine the anger , pain , and frustration you've likely felt while dealing with your situation - V. is a hell of a Woman , you're lucky to have her . And .... she's damned lucky to have someone like you by her side !

Unless you've started eating small Children , or poking the Dog with a fork for no reason .... you've nothing to apologize to anyone for . Anyone who know you , even a little .... knows that you are a moral , stand-up guy , and a hell of a Fisherman (not to mention being blessed/cursed with THAT kind of sense of humor !) . Anyone who would judge you lacks real perception since they're NOT dealing with what you are dealing with .

I can only hope that both you and V. can find some peace from her terrible illness in the near-future , because you both deserve it ! Please pass along my best wishes to your Wife !

D.~

No harm done here Ed! My thoughts are with you and your family, live life & love life.

Hello Ed, My thoughts and prayers are with you and your wife. As a Christian I know the power of prayer and have seen prayers answered on my behalf as well as others. Here is my story of answered prayers on my part. After 36 years of working I retired at the end of 2010 eagerly looking forward to this phase of my life including more time for fishing. Within a year I began to experience “seizures” that just came out of the blue. I had been healthy all of my life. I had to stop driving and did not drive for a year and a half . My family and many Christian friends prayed for me during this time.

I began seeing a neurologist and had about every kind of test done you can imagine with nothing pinpointing what the problem was or how to "fix it". The human brain is indeed a mystery. At that point it is a trial and error process for medications that work for certain cases. The third medication I tried was the charm and almost as mysteriously my seizures disappeared. I am back driving again for over a year now. I credit this to my faith in God and the power of prayer. Eacn new morning I try to remember to start the day in prayer, thanking God for each new day and all the blessing I have. I then move to people in need of prayer and I can now add you and your wife to that list.

You are a good man Ed...I will be praying for you and your Wife...After 68 years of clean health I have had to start Blood pressure meds...I try not to watch too much on TV and even the Radio is bad...I try not to even think of politics leave alone discuss them...
Take care Ed....Frank

Hi Ed -

Eventhough we have never met, from this site's very beginning I have always enjoyed, as well as appreciated your thoughtful posts.

I was quite bothered by the news concerning your wife... My thoughts are with you both!

If time ever permits, give us a quick update on your bird dog!

Sincerely, Bob

Thanks for the kind words everyone. I wasn't fishing for sympathy although it doesn't hurt nor am I excusing my bad behavior. I kind of just caught on to what I was doing on the board. The road to Bitter Old Man is paved with sarcasm, of which I've become way too fond of.
I'm changing that.
Ed

Hi Ed!
The only way you offended me was by curtailing all your very entertaining posts and classic comments on this board? You always added just the right amount of seasoning around here and without you, its been just kinda bland ;)

I consider you a friend Ed so you cant offend me :)

Please take care of your wife and take care of yourself! Be a rock for her in this time of trouble. I'll be praying for both of you. look forward to hearing how things start turning for the better!

Jay

Ed,

Friends don't judge... Your posts have a certain "ring" of truthfulness, its actually refreshing. It takes a lot to lay out what you did!

Best to you and your wife. We're here for you, when you need.

Sorry to hear your plight Ed. It is indeed tough to see your soul mate suffer. Prayers your way. Regarding your post(s). I have always found them to be entertaining, witty, and educating. Hope to see many more of your post for the the edification of me and other members of this board.

Heya Ed~

I always enjoyed your sarcastic wit and never read it offensively.

There's great power in embracing truth and accepting vulnerability... so good on ya for making an amend like that publicly. Despite the consensus that it was not needed from your Kiene's board buds, it was needed by you and thus healthy to state it.

I was wondering why I hadn't seen you on the boards as much for some time.

My father has many, many ailments (neuromuscular/back, heart, prostate, cancer, emphysema/COPD).

Regarding COPD... he went through the lung reduction procedure and his doctors gave him 5 years to live. Now, 16 years later he still struggles to walk very far and he has to breath from an oxygen tank 2/3 of the day but he is alive and does manage to find joy in life.

He has my mom and his wife to love him and take care of him.

Sorry to hear about your wife's situation. If she's close to your age, that's pretty young to have COPD. I wish her and you two all the best in healing/coping. I know how hard it is to have one's deepest passions undermined by illness.

If you need any help and especially if there's some COPD-related question your wife has which would best be answered by a veteran with the disease rather than a doctor, please don't hesitate to ask.

Love is the best medicine~
Mark

Bite me Ed!

Thanks Mark that's a generous offer.

Scott what took you so long?

Now what was I about to do with this fork?

Ed, Happened to be watching TV and saw something come actoss the screen about a drug or medication called Breo for treatment of COPD. A quick look on the internet I found this link about this FDA aproved drug for treatment of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. I susect you and your wife are probably aware of it but just in case not it would certainly be worth checking out.

http://www.fda.gov/newsevents/newsro.../ucm351664.htm

Best Wishes and Prayers for you and your wife.