Drafted by the Hillbillies

[OregonSalmon]

Was down at the local watering hole (the back room of the general store), was thinking of clubbing on of the regulars to death with a peice of firewood, so I suggest to my pal Danny we head to the river and he do some feeshin'. I bought some beer and we headed down the highway, afoot.
About quittin' time aka out of beer, Danny catches a very small winter steelhead, halfpounder size, and whacks it over the head. He is getting a might nervous, and so was I, since we were out of beer. Danny's problems was it was a wild fish, a bit of a no-no, but dead is dead and Danny is usually starving, so what the hey.
We start up the highway, I'm carrying the fish under the beer cans, and telling Danny what are the odds of a cop pulling over for us. Now Danny looks like a cross between Fidel Castro, a member of ZZTop, and Buddy Holly, so apparently the odds were damn good and sure as sheet it happened, and look who is carrying the goods. I quickly came up with a game plan; praise the police to change the subject. It worked and we walked. Literally.
"Look what they 'dun to me Maw!!! Yes, the hillbillies have made me a criminal. Maw always said I'd go to hell if I lied, cheated or stole. Then again, she said during many a gardening dispute I'd go to hell. Prince of Darkness, here I come!!!
Fish report: the steelhead are here. The local river is high, clear, but a might coppish for you lawbreakers out 'thar.

[mems]

Aloha, good story, glad the steelie didn't spawn, you both might have ended up in death roe. Mems.

[OregonSalmon]

Mem,
I'm lovin' that term!!! A decade ago I was on a "death row"; started at the top of the Little Nestucca on the outgo, thinking I'd hit the Big Nestucca on the incoming but misjudged my strength, the length of the row, and at the end, wind. I prayed for a pardon after two hours on the sticks of a pram, but the Governor, nor the Good Lord gave me a break. Nor even my buddy who was picking me up at the end. He saw my struggle and laughed, waiting for me to make the last mile. Tom Hanks had the "Green Mile"....well I had the "Blue Mile". If I could lift my arms I would have slugged the bastard in the face for his insane laughter at my plight. Had to go with the Ghandi/I'm too tired to kick your ass route.
Now I have three philosopical questions to ponder: Death row, the death row, and death roe. I get confused with the wood stove. Thought my thinkin' days were over. Time to get lost in the woods, once again.

[sculpin]

It sounds like you are having a good time with the good old boys. Be careful though because either you or they may have fallen in with bad company. I've been up here 28 yrs and have to say the local boys are fun. They believe in the old ways ,if you can't shoot it,catch it,drink it,make love to it, or use it for bait, what good is it.

Mark

[David Lee]

It sounds like you are having a good time with the good old boys. Be careful though because either you or they may have fallen in with bad company. I've been up here 28 yrs and have to say the local boys are fun. They believe in the old ways ,if you can't shoot it,catch it,drink it,make love to it, or use it for bait, what good is it.

Mark

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

Looks like I'll have to mind my Ps and Qs when I visit up there .... lest I fall into one of THOSE catagories :x

David

[sculpin]

No worries David. It seems like most of the folks living here now are retired from the Gold State. The good old boys are getting fewer and farther between.When the bug,tree,bird,ect huggers shut down all the natural resorce industry in the state a lot of them left or cleaned up and are selling realestate.lol

Mark

[mems]

"Sometimes it heaven, sometimes its hell, sometimes I don't even know!
My front tracks are heading for a cool water well, my back tracks are covered with snow. Sometimes its heaven, some times its hell, some times I don't even know." Willie Nelson.

[Wednesday Caster]

ORSalmon,
Love your reports!!! Thanks for bringing my BP down to a level where my Dr. doesn't have to remind me to lay off the salt.

David,
Thanks for your comment on my writing (on another thread) but this thread started by ORSalmon is truly good writing and banter.

Quinn

[Rob]

Boy
them Bug,tree,bird ect huggers can sure screw up a good State!! :cry:
I sure hope they stay out of Utah. :wink:




Rob

[OregonSalmon]

Wednesday: thanks for the compliment. I'm just a silly bugger incarcerated in the woods. Not a terrible sentence. I hope they keep on denying my probabation and I won't have to live in town, or God forbid, a city. Best jail ever in the trees, and if the powers above transfer me to a city they may as well just put some lead through my head. I love it out here in the coastal woods of Oregon!!!
Sculpin: ah these hillbillies out here aren't so tough. Just have to be an ass to them at times. For some reason they respect that. There is a parallel between wild beasts and the hillbillies: never show fear. Very odd but what the hell. Plus I've learned how to hypnotize a chicken. Now how ya gonna learn that in the big city? Never know when that will come in handy eh....