OregonSalmon
04-22-2011, 11:49 AM
Boys, there ain't no fish, there ain't no sun, there ain't no love and there ain't no spring! Take away a man's spring he gets depressed. There is one thing, oh yeah, some damn cold that kicks your ass for a month. Gets tired of whoopin' ass on your lungs then figures the ears would be a good place to roost to kick the human's butt. Nothing like being dizzy from dusk to dawn. I could drink 39 beers and never be this dizzy. I could stalk the women at the library and not be this dizzy. Good stalking spot by the way, a bit of a heads up.
The "Great Northwest Germ" is finally winding down, thank the lord, possibly due to a blessing from the Jehoviahs Witness. Only people that knock on my door with a smile. Had a bit of a problem in the trailer park with the Mexican mafia the other night. Never turn down a shot of tequila from the boys. Seems to upset them. Had to walk to the store in my sorry state to buy them smokes, the promise of the five dollars on the backside I took as a given, then they stiffed me! Even a stupid drunken Irishman knows not to go up against six, maybe seven, depending on my squint, drunken Hispanics who had drained a bottle of tequila the size of a mid-sized dog. Every now and again you have to take a loss.
Speaking of losses, I'm going down in flames on "Paddling For Pups", the fundraiser for the local animal shelter. I tell you, I'm a Donald Trump casino and marriage combined! I'm Rosanne Barr singing the national anthem at a Padres game! My own mother wouldn't donate and said she would kick me in the nuts if I asked again and she is in wheelchair! Tough out there. Rough out there. RUFFFF!
As my sainted father said, " son, don't look back because they might be gainin' on you". Full our ahead. I'll play out my string on the animal shelter and hope I don't get thrown in jail. You'll all like the first event, this is as far as I'm going to raise money: I'm selling rocks to the boys at the tavern to throw at me. They always did it for free so what the hell. I'm trying anything.
Remember, God loves you....deal with it.
The "Great Northwest Germ" is finally winding down, thank the lord, possibly due to a blessing from the Jehoviahs Witness. Only people that knock on my door with a smile. Had a bit of a problem in the trailer park with the Mexican mafia the other night. Never turn down a shot of tequila from the boys. Seems to upset them. Had to walk to the store in my sorry state to buy them smokes, the promise of the five dollars on the backside I took as a given, then they stiffed me! Even a stupid drunken Irishman knows not to go up against six, maybe seven, depending on my squint, drunken Hispanics who had drained a bottle of tequila the size of a mid-sized dog. Every now and again you have to take a loss.
Speaking of losses, I'm going down in flames on "Paddling For Pups", the fundraiser for the local animal shelter. I tell you, I'm a Donald Trump casino and marriage combined! I'm Rosanne Barr singing the national anthem at a Padres game! My own mother wouldn't donate and said she would kick me in the nuts if I asked again and she is in wheelchair! Tough out there. Rough out there. RUFFFF!
As my sainted father said, " son, don't look back because they might be gainin' on you". Full our ahead. I'll play out my string on the animal shelter and hope I don't get thrown in jail. You'll all like the first event, this is as far as I'm going to raise money: I'm selling rocks to the boys at the tavern to throw at me. They always did it for free so what the hell. I'm trying anything.
Remember, God loves you....deal with it.