David Lee
01-19-2011, 12:42 PM
Old Man Winter and Ma Nature got together and went to see the Creator of all things ...
The Creator greeted both warmly . After all , when he had placed the task of creating a seasonal animal of beauty , grace , and power in the hands of Ma Nature , she had looked deep within herself and made a fish that she decided to call Steelhead - a lovely Trout who would go to the open Ocean for a few years , Chrome-up , and return to their natal streams ...... sleek , large , and explosive . The Creator was also very fond of Old man Winter , who was tasked with making snow - a substance which would melt , creating lots of cold water for the Steelhead to live and breed in .... and help wash the Steelhead Smolts downstream after a few seasons so they could get huge , Silvery , and energetic .
"What brings you two to see me today"? asked the Creator ....
"We screwed the pooch , big-time" replied Ma .
"How so " ? asked the Creator ...
"I have blown the task I was given - Steelhead bring lust and envy into the hearts of Fishers everywhere .... my Steelies cannot penetrate Concrete Dams , so there are few left to satisfy everyone" Ma replied . Old Man Winter piped-up "It isn't her fault alone , I brought too much water , so all the Rivers are blown and no one can enjoy the Steelhead .... and all the Fisher-folk are going cabin-nutty and fighting amongst themselves " .
The Creator frowned and thought for a while . He could feel how frustrated Ma and Old Man were , and it didn't sit well with him ......
After brainstorming for several moments , the Creator broke into a huge smile . "What gives"? asked Old Man Winter . "I have the perfect solution" said the Creator ....
"I will create a new creature - it will solve all of the Steelheads ills and make the world a better place !! It will bring with it the destruction of Man , and all of his creations - in time .... the Dams Man created will fall , Man will use no more water , and Man will no longer be a factor in the environment . This creature will cause otherwise normal people to turn on each other with hatred and create an apocalypse , thus ending the era of Man's rule on Earth . Then , with no more people mucking everything up ..... the Steelhead will recover and prosper !!"
Ma and Old Man both looked horrified ......
"Creator ..... what will you call this new and terrible creature?"
(Wait for it , you bastards ....)
Creator looked into their eyes and said "STEELHEAD FORUM TROLL" -
The end .
D.~
The Creator greeted both warmly . After all , when he had placed the task of creating a seasonal animal of beauty , grace , and power in the hands of Ma Nature , she had looked deep within herself and made a fish that she decided to call Steelhead - a lovely Trout who would go to the open Ocean for a few years , Chrome-up , and return to their natal streams ...... sleek , large , and explosive . The Creator was also very fond of Old man Winter , who was tasked with making snow - a substance which would melt , creating lots of cold water for the Steelhead to live and breed in .... and help wash the Steelhead Smolts downstream after a few seasons so they could get huge , Silvery , and energetic .
"What brings you two to see me today"? asked the Creator ....
"We screwed the pooch , big-time" replied Ma .
"How so " ? asked the Creator ...
"I have blown the task I was given - Steelhead bring lust and envy into the hearts of Fishers everywhere .... my Steelies cannot penetrate Concrete Dams , so there are few left to satisfy everyone" Ma replied . Old Man Winter piped-up "It isn't her fault alone , I brought too much water , so all the Rivers are blown and no one can enjoy the Steelhead .... and all the Fisher-folk are going cabin-nutty and fighting amongst themselves " .
The Creator frowned and thought for a while . He could feel how frustrated Ma and Old Man were , and it didn't sit well with him ......
After brainstorming for several moments , the Creator broke into a huge smile . "What gives"? asked Old Man Winter . "I have the perfect solution" said the Creator ....
"I will create a new creature - it will solve all of the Steelheads ills and make the world a better place !! It will bring with it the destruction of Man , and all of his creations - in time .... the Dams Man created will fall , Man will use no more water , and Man will no longer be a factor in the environment . This creature will cause otherwise normal people to turn on each other with hatred and create an apocalypse , thus ending the era of Man's rule on Earth . Then , with no more people mucking everything up ..... the Steelhead will recover and prosper !!"
Ma and Old Man both looked horrified ......
"Creator ..... what will you call this new and terrible creature?"
(Wait for it , you bastards ....)
Creator looked into their eyes and said "STEELHEAD FORUM TROLL" -
The end .
D.~