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OregonSalmon
09-30-2008, 10:00 AM
The fall is a magical season in the Great Northwest: salmon, crab, chantrelles, clams, and some elk that need to meet the stove. My new favorite, smoked dungeness. Although the pain of having to walk across the street to check the pots it is well worth the trouble. Salmon aren't worth the trouble quite yet but those pesky sexually driven mad kings of the stream will arrive in great numbers, numbers so large even Carl Sagen could not have imagined. I'm not talking about fingers and toes numbers, I'm saying you will have to watch out for your fingers and toes!!! Small children should be placed no closer than four feet from the water. So many fish that in a few days I will be able to recreate the miracle of Jesus walking across the water. My act of divinity will be far less noble since my motive is finding a shortcut to the store for beer.

Ah the fall. It reminds me of my first sexual encounter. Like the season on the Oregon coast, it is Heaven for an unusually short amount of time but the satisfaction lasts for a lifetime. Reminds me of a song:

"Oh give me a home, where the crackheads don't roam.....and the salmon swim all day
"home, home on the coast.... though the skies are so grey, and it's never payday....my smile nevers leaves my face
"Always is heard, the talk about curd....for Tillamook is just to the south
"Oh home on the coast, where you can lie to your Maw and rip off your Paw then bring home some crabs in return
"Though not paradise, it treats me quite nice and I no longer have fears
"I drink lots of beer and clam like a queer and put umbrelles in everyones drinks
"Oh home on the coast, where the loggers say I'm toast....
"I grabbed one's ass, he kicked mine real fast and out the door I was shoved
"Though I intend to stay, I better not act gay or into the river I will go
"Oh home on the coast...................................

Remember...tell your friends...I'll be here all week.....

Darian
09-30-2008, 11:48 AM
OK, OK.... It seems that you've been tapping the "medicine" bottle again. Great poets need some motivation, tho.

OregonSalmon
10-01-2008, 01:43 AM
Darian,
If you mean by the "medicine bottle" is yogurt, yes I have. My crap is now more solid than the stantions of the Golden Gate bridge. If you want to take a chance at the title then point the car north and find out in person what the hands of stone are all about. I need mine for flytying but the 94 pound woman with overy problems will make you love the ground and wonder wether it is high or low tide. She is a terrible cook but has great hand speed. Boxed her in the kitchen on time and lost every round. I should have demanded a bigger ring to pugilize and cook in. How ironic the match: she kicked my ass in the kitchen. Thank god after my assweepin' she didn't make me eat her food.

Darian
10-01-2008, 08:51 AM
Well,.... I guess there're some things to be thankful for.... Don't you know you can always run....:unibrow::unibrow:

BTW, has it started to rain up there, yet:question::question:

OregonSalmon
10-02-2008, 08:27 PM
the rains are beginning....could be a good thing or bad. Lots of coho but I have no mojo. Never liked Hojo but I'm a Pomo. We'll have to ask Mario Coumo.