OregonSalmon
09-22-2007, 08:47 AM
After months of tedious and contensious negotiations, my sainted mother was able to buy my freedom from the Mongol horde of Seaside. The whole thing started with me complaining at the Mongonlian Barbeque about the "all you can eat yak buffet". Should have been called the "eat all the yak" buffet since 50% was yak hair. Great stuff on a fly but terrible on the plate. So I complained.
"Hey Genghis, this yak is full of hair"
"You bet...we like making customer happy...best part of yak...hair"
"No...it is not the best part of yak...the meat is"
"What, you no like?"
"I no like...and furthermore, I no pay"
"Oh....you gotta pay"
"I no pay so what the hell are you going to do about it"
He whistles and three angry men with clevers, ironically enough dressed in yak skins, emerge from the back and spirited me to the kitchen. Citing the principal of the case Jim Chambers vs. Cracker Jack (my buddy didn't get a prize and spent days getting a free package) I refused on an ethical basis to do dishes. After a month, the Mongols realized they could neither break this Irishman's spirit nor head with a clever, and no way they could pass off my flesh as anything but old human, so they resorted to calling my mother to pay my bill. Mother was happy to pay the initial tabl but was not willing to pay the 15% tip. After months of fierce debate laced with Mongonlian and Gaelic vulgarities, the woman was willing to settle on a 7% gratuity. Beaten, but unbowed, I emerged from the resturant a might gaunt and smelled not freedom but salmon entering the estuary. I shouted "free to cast, free to cast!!! (apologizes to the greatest man of the 20'th century, Martin Luther King Jr).
Many morals to this tale of woe: eat your yak hair and like it....be born to a mother less tightfisted to the change...but the only one I can come up with is: MONGOLIAN BEER SUCKS!!!
Wow....and on a fishing note: salmon are late to the Northwest coastal streams. I figure the Future Fornicators of America have to do their sinnin' sometime and hopefully before the rains start. Man crawled out of the tidewater and considering the state of the world may as well crawl back. At least each fall.
-Early to bed, early to rise, for some dum' sum' beach, gotta tie them flies- Ben Franklin
"Hey Genghis, this yak is full of hair"
"You bet...we like making customer happy...best part of yak...hair"
"No...it is not the best part of yak...the meat is"
"What, you no like?"
"I no like...and furthermore, I no pay"
"Oh....you gotta pay"
"I no pay so what the hell are you going to do about it"
He whistles and three angry men with clevers, ironically enough dressed in yak skins, emerge from the back and spirited me to the kitchen. Citing the principal of the case Jim Chambers vs. Cracker Jack (my buddy didn't get a prize and spent days getting a free package) I refused on an ethical basis to do dishes. After a month, the Mongols realized they could neither break this Irishman's spirit nor head with a clever, and no way they could pass off my flesh as anything but old human, so they resorted to calling my mother to pay my bill. Mother was happy to pay the initial tabl but was not willing to pay the 15% tip. After months of fierce debate laced with Mongonlian and Gaelic vulgarities, the woman was willing to settle on a 7% gratuity. Beaten, but unbowed, I emerged from the resturant a might gaunt and smelled not freedom but salmon entering the estuary. I shouted "free to cast, free to cast!!! (apologizes to the greatest man of the 20'th century, Martin Luther King Jr).
Many morals to this tale of woe: eat your yak hair and like it....be born to a mother less tightfisted to the change...but the only one I can come up with is: MONGOLIAN BEER SUCKS!!!
Wow....and on a fishing note: salmon are late to the Northwest coastal streams. I figure the Future Fornicators of America have to do their sinnin' sometime and hopefully before the rains start. Man crawled out of the tidewater and considering the state of the world may as well crawl back. At least each fall.
-Early to bed, early to rise, for some dum' sum' beach, gotta tie them flies- Ben Franklin