An honor bestowed on thee

[OregonSalmon]

Finally I get the recognition for my tireless work on making this wonderful globe an even better place. Long overdue might I add. No, not a Nobel Prize or that Pullitzer thing or even getting listed on the terrorist watch list. Sadly enough, not a picture of me on Kiene's "Wall Of Shame" nor even cudo's bestowed on me in the Fish Bum Hall of Fame. Those rat bastards are getting another load of shad on their doorstep again this year. Of course, not my mother sending me a coffee cup with the saying "Best Son Ever". I could do without her sending me another "You Son Of A Bitch" cup though.

The award (drumroll please): this fall I will have an Australian goat named after me. YYYYYEEEEEHAAAAAAAAWWWW!!!! When the goat is born I'll be meowing or barking or bleeting or mooing....hey, whatever those goats do. Bet that goat will only eat beer cans.

So Hollywood take your Oscars and Emmies and Grammies and Espies and put them on the wall to gather dust but with my goat I can make cheese. Feta this baby!!!!

A psychotic old goat named Galen
Born an American but raised Austrailian
His attitude horrendous
Bathing talents less than stupendous
But had the comedic skills of Michal Palin

Everything is a work in progress....except work.

[sculpin]

Congratulations. Are drinks on the house ?

[Bill Kiene semi-retired]

How did you get that Australian goat inseminated?

Are they doing a DNA test first?

I know, FedEx plus dry ice and a little loven.

__________________________________________________ ______

You heard the joke about the grammar school 'kid' getting teased about the fact that his dad was getting to affectionate with his sheep.

The youngster replied, "Nahhhhhhhaa....."

[OregonSalmon]

You bet Sculpin!!!!

That would be a good thought Bill but beastiality is illegal in Oregon. It always cracks me up they had to make that a law. Always thought that was a given. Had I been in the legislature I would have made impassioned speeches not to outlaw it just for giggles and to see if anyone was watching.
Off to the beach for the clams. The tide waits for no man.

[mako]

I don't know wether to laugh or be insulted :D
But this is the best country in the world! so you must be a little bit proud?
By the way beastiality is illegal down here too :lol: :lol:

[mako]

I don't know wether to laugh or be insulted :D
But this is the best country in the world! so you must be a little bit proud?
By the way beastiality is illegal down here too :lol: :lol:

[sculpin]

Illegal ? Who woulda thought? I hear in Eastern Oregon, the boys are given velcro gloves, as a right of passage into manhood. :shock: :shock:

Mark

[mako]

Is it bring your own box or are they supplied? :oops:

[OregonSalmon]

Mako,
Please forgive me for any Aussie insult. I have a sarcasm gene that runs deep which cannot be controlled. If I had the money, and the ability to board a plane (plenty of phobias on flying) I'd be to Australia in the time it takes to fly. I would apoligize for any Aussie slight and shake hands throught the country. If not enough, you can put me in a rink with a red 'roo and let my ass kicked all the way to hell.

Not one American has offered to name a goat by my name. Zero. Zip. Only an Aussie would give me that fame, and truly, not being sarcastic for the first time in months, I do consider it an honor. In respect for the newborn, I intend to only eat grass for a day. Might chew on the neighbor's bamboo....too close to call

[David Lee]

A Goat , eh ????

I would have thought that is better than having , say , a rash named after you . Perhaps the rash you get when Clammin' in rubber boots and water/sand get in them ??

Congats on the hooved one , GG !!

Mako -

EVERYONE here in America LOVES Australians . I can't remember ever hearing a bad word about you fine folks . In fact ..... most Yankees know quite a lot about OZ - we all watch the Paul Hogan movies and have learned to understand your language fairly well . I often chat on the phone w/ my friends Rod Harrison , Max Garth , and Paul McNaught and almost never have to use the Aussie/Yankee translation book .

By the way , happy ANZAC day , a few days late .

David :)

[OregonSalmon]

David,
Damn man I don't think my buddy is headed south so you might be clam poor. Ya might just have to head north this fall and grab them...oh...and a few salmon in the tidewater. A horrible spot I live. Have to pet strange dogs on the beach and give shells to the smiling small humans. Have no idea what crime I committed to deserve this sentence. I feel I'm a character in a Kaska novel. The suffering I endure from dog slobber and faces of pure joy of children on the beach is horrendous. And if you believe any amount of my torment I have a 6.8 mile long bridge across the mouth of the Columbia I'm willing to part with for a song!!!

Think fall, think north, think salmon. North will treat you well.


-"I'm the commander guy".....G. W. Bush

[mako]

I was most definately not insulted!!
It was just a bit of Aussie humor!!
Unfortunately i have a warped sense of humor, so i am sorry if i gave the wrong impression.
Most of my mates are goats anyway!
If you ever get down under let me know and we will go fishing and pet your goat :D :D
That goes for anyone on this damb fine forum :D :D

[OregonSalmon]

Mako,
Us Americans aren't looking to good to the world right now so if any other countryman feels slighted I'm going to apologize right off the bat!!! Our government at the time is doing a very poor job on reputation building so I figure I'll start the ball rolling on my own. Gonna be extra nice to everyone but Scotsmen. We have one Scotsman in a town of 5,000 and that is one too many!!!
If you ever travel to I guess would be called the "up over" we'll put you in a boat and deal with some salmon fishing in the fall. The fall is heaven in my neck of the woods. Too much fun to be had. Then winter sets in and we all consider suicide yet we make it to the spring. Eternal opotomism and plenty of beer.

"you have dined with ten presidents....you visited our country on our bicentennial in 17....er....er....1976" -George W. Bush talking to the Queen of England.

[Darian]

Galen, Galen, Galen..... Wha's this 'bout Scot's :?: :?: :?: After all our prior rapport, too.... :? :? :? I happen to've been distilled from a long line of Scot's (among other things), myself. :unibrow: :unibrow:

Normally, I would never consider retaliation but in this case; a POX on your clams. :P :P :P I won't mention the Salmon, tho. :roll: :roll: :roll:

[Ed Wahl]

Darian, that's why I like you so much, all of my Scottish friends are distilled. :D Ed

[sculpin]

Galen
I'll have to say, I've only recently learned I am of Scottish origin, although I have always loved the Scottish libations and been a tight ass. When I was young and I asked my Father about relatives, he always said, relatives would bring you nothing but grief. My oldest son searched out our lineage and I was surprised it was Scotish. I'm not about to to call for a pox on the clams up north yet, without at least trying out some good Irish spirits. So, if you would kindly consider sending a bottle of your best, I might consider changing my lineage to Irish and canceling the Clam Pox, Darian has cast on you.


Mark

[Darian]

Mark,.... A wee bit 'O Irish Whiskey (single malt 'O course) served neat has long been one 'O my favorite libations.... :D :D :D I switched from Scotch many years ago and never looked back. 8)

[OregonSalmon]

A clam pox!!!!!!........A clam pox!!!!!......I think it worked. The other day I went out on a not so good tide and did not dig a limit. Damn your clam pox!!!

We will see how good your pox is since some really good tides are happening and the surf is calm. We will see if your pox is as good as mine on salmon fishing. We would all fish the Nestucca tidewater in the fall and the newbie Charlie was getting a might arrogant so I put the pox on him. Poor bugger didn't hook a fish for days. Ya get a might superstitious fishing tidewater day in and day out and poor Charlie had turned the bend to I had to anti-pox him and give him some flies!!! Hey, even us fish poxing liberals have a heart.

[Darian]

OK, OK,.... Got your message. I found a dead frog, tied a string around one leg, went out last night around midnight and uttered the appropriate incantation, tossed the frog into a local pond and lifted the Clam Pox. Yer good to go. 8) :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Remember, I'm watchin'.... :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: